mistaken identity

THE SCENE: in the car driving, while listening to "come see about me"

dash: mom, is this michael jackson singing?
me: no, it's diana ross and the supremes.
marz: this is a girl. michael jackson is a boy. we have a movie of him.
dash: michael jackson isn't in any movies.
me: yes michael jackson is a boy, but we don't have a movie with him in it.
marz: yes we do.
me: what is it about?
marz: monsters. and basketball.
me: that's michael jordan, sweets.
marz: oh.

i agree, but...

i was following behind someone today with a bumper sticker that said "PROUD TO BE AN ATHEIST" right underneath the other bumper sticker that said "HANDS ARE FAR BETTER WHEN THEY HELP THAN WHEN THEY PRAY" (or something to that effect. not sure on the exact wording).

i often find that those who want to go against the majority, are very adamant that everyone else hear about it. not always the case, but it seems to be what i've observed. the logical part of me definitely understands why it's hard to explain the existence of God. so i can see where an atheist would get their reasoning. and i can definitely relate to the helping instead of praying part. BUT...

i think people get caught up in the extremist side of things and then criticize an entire way of thinking based on a few extremists. i believe that balance is the key. of course if we spend all of our time on our knees and never get up, then our hands aren't really being used to their potential. i'm not very familiar with what other religions teach, but the one that i try to live by doesn't teach prayer w/o action to support it. i believe in doing our part, putting forth our humanly efforts. but i also believe that i can't do things on my own. i'm not capable. i guess i feel sad if someone believes they have to carry all of the weight themselves. what a burden that would feel like - to try and help the world without any intervention of a higher power. i'm not one that is high on the HOPE meter by nature, but i definitely would be a lot lower without any eternal perspective.

teen shopping

as most of you know, i do all my clothes shopping for my kids a year ahead of time. in the middle of summer and winter the stores mark all their stuff down and i get most things 75% off retail. there are always a few miscellaneous things they end up needing when the time finally comes around, and i hunt for those things at kid-to-kid or ebay. luigi hasn't grown for about 2 years. same clothes, same shoes. so last year i didn't buy anything for him when we did the big sale shopping. of course this season he decided to grow, and quickly too. we always knew it was coming. we just didn't know when it would finally kick in. a few weeks ago he needed some jeans, and i found some on sale at old navy, and also was lucky to find a pair at kid-to-kid while we were in vegas. well 2 days ago he comes to ask me if i think they look too short. YES! and then come to find out they're too tight on his waist also! a month? that's all i got out of 3 pairs of jeans? MAJOR BUMMER! anyway... now that he's back in public school he wants to look like all the other kids. leaving the old navy realm was a challenge for me. i had no idea where to get all the skater clothes. when did i become SO OLD?! last night we spent 4 hours of reconnaissance at 2 different malls trying on one thing after another. and that kid is SLOW to try on clothes! he really needs to be taught the art of speed shopping with a purpose. jeans for $30 and up?? REALLY??? for a teenager??? NO WAY! i wasn't going to spend that. but i really feel for the kid who wants to fit in. i was torn. i was so close to buying something expensive for him. we came home with 1 pair from the gap outlet for $16. i then proceeded to scour ebay for the right sizes and brands and colors. i was glad i stuck to my guns and left all the expensive stuff at the store. we won a couple bids on ebay and he's so excited! who knew shopping for a teen would be so detailed?

unseasonal

yes, the calendar claims it's winter time. but we have yet to see anything that resembles winter and we are SO glad for that! right now it's 76 degrees outside. we're all in shorts. it's predicted to be 77 for thanksgiving day and i couldn't be happier. (well, unless i was somewhere tropical) even though we have not given up our flip flops and summer outfits, marz wants to wear socks and shoes. she had no closed shoes for the "winter" and i thought i'd better get her something for running around at night in. now she wears them EVERYWHERE. because what are new shoes for if they're not for wearing, right?

not too spooky

okay, FINALLY. here are the pics from halloween. we did a trunk-or-treat at the church a few days before, but didn't get any pics from that. sorry. same costumes though, so no biggie.

TIGER LILY


BIKER DUDE


TINKERBELL


KLAUS
(from A Series of Unfortunate Events)

transition to bobcat

a decision has been stewing around here for awhile. i'm finally ready to go public with it. we keep things pretty private until we're sure about them. so here it is: luigi will be starting public school tomorrow. a year ago summer the kids were given a choice to stay home or go back to public school. we had a discussion about their likes and dislikes for each situation and they all chose to stay home. luigi hasn't quite kept up his end of the bargain and isn't putting forth much effort to get schoolwork done. as a result, it sucks time away from what i can spend with the other kids. at any rate, we feel he needs a change of scenery. we'll see how it goes. tomorrow he starts a new schedule as a CARMEL VALLEY MIDDLE SCHOOL BOBCAT.

hair gone wild

yes, i'm a tad bit behind with halloween posts. and you'll have to wait just a tad bit longer. this is a pre-halloween event. the charter school that the kids attend was having Crazy Hair day. who makes these things up? who decides that in addition to buying costumes for halloween events, we now have to purchase extra supplies for some silly school event? not me, that's for sure. but i'm a sucker. and since the kids wanted to participate we came home from the SPIRIT halloween store with 4 cans of spray-on hair color in tow. of course Z chose green and dash chose red. luigi chose white and then a glitter just had to be added to the mix. they had a blast. i had to stay out of the bathroom with all the toxic fumes. i'm surprised they could stay in there long enough to finish. and we're not sure why in some light the white hair looks blue. oh well. we're definitely not pro make-up artists, but we have our fun!

birthday in advance

well, i got an early birthday present. i've been wanting one for a while, and then when i saw a demo at costco i was just dying for one. i thought i could find one online later with my christmas money. but luckily someone stepped in and i don't have to!

it's absolutely amazing. the kids and i have been having tons of fun with it! we've made tortilla soup, strawberry syrup, pineapple syrup, rice flour, ice cream, smoothies, frosting, and i can't remember what else. it's so fun! it's rival is the vitamix and i think this is the better machine. but then i'm biased since this is the one i own. ;)

studying hard

this is the marz way to do nightly scripture reading.

in search of

not quite sure what she's looking for, but she's definitely doing it the way her dad would!

sunday stroll

i will definitely be sad to leave this place. we took a late sunday afternoon to walk from where doc macgyver works down to the beach to see the sunset. it's torrey pines beach/state park area if you want to take a look on a map. it was a much longer walk than i expected, and my camera and i did not make it to the beach by sunset. but i did manage to sneak in a few pics before the sun disappeared completely from my view.

holy cow man!

ok, i'm SUCH a slacker! no blogs for 3 weeks!!! SORRY everyone! i have some random pics i want to upload and post. i'll get on it. new posts coming soon...

a great start

for the first time in a LONG time, i've been focused on the messages of general conference. i didn't fall asleep through any of the sessions today and it seemed there was at least one phrase out of each talk that spoke directly to me. here are some that i wrote down:

• love does NOT supersede the commandments
• every parent knows they can completely love a child while being creatively disappointed in their self-destructive behavior
• the promise of eternal life should be the incentive to give our best and serve the Lord with all of our heart, might, mind, and strength
• with increased spiritual strength we learn to temper our anger and protect ourselves against addictions
• we live in an impatient and intemperate world. security for our families comes from self-control and avoiding the excesses of this world
• the scriptures do NOT say we will forget our sins in mortality. relief will come in the timetable of the Lord
  
• all beings who have bodies have power over those who do not
• burdens invite us to yield to the spirit, therefore becoming blessings
• teaching helps save lives
• what we know is not always reflected in what we do
• eternal principles can get lost in the labyrinth of good ideas

courage prevaileth

poor dash has been tortured twice in the past 2 months with some very unpleasant dentist visits. we didn't know he had bad cavities until it was too late to be pleasant about it. after a huge ordeal through july with our old insurance company and a dentist that completely freaked him out, we were able to make some progress. new insurance, new dentist, and a much calmer dash. he needed 2 root canals in baby teeth, 2 crowns, and 3 fillings. pain was very inconsistent so we just figured he was making it up. we have since learned that's just the way it is with kids and teeth. always check it out whenever they say there is pain, even if it doesn't come back. last month he went in to have the right side fixed. he made it through and came home to tell everyone he had all his dental work done and didn't even have a shot or a drill! (of course, we just smiled and nodded) today we went back for the left side. unfortunately it was more infected than the dentist realized. he had to dig deep into the root and hit some nerve tissue. poor kid was uncomfortable and in pain. but he made it through again! he was definitely much braver than his mother would've been! and she didn't even get any pictures. so here's one after his lunch full of soft food, which he's required to eat until his mouth isn't numb anymore.

such BRAVERY!! we're so proud of you dash!

in denial

first of all, those owls were driving me berzerk! i couldn't even make myself last a full month looking at them! and i'm sure this muted tropical background will be on my nerves soon enough. i mean, what happened to the lovely bright colors of summer? did we leave those behind in the 90s? i want something reminiscent of popsicles, swimming, and tropical fish. i want to smell the sunscreen and salt in the air.

on that note, i'm not ready for fall. not ready, not ready, not ready i tell you! can you hear me stomping my feet and throwing a tantrum? it seems i'm NEVER ready. every year i wish fall wouldn't come so soon. i don't want to think of halloween costumes and thanksgiving dinner menus. and i for sure don't want to think of christmas gift lists! what's the trick to welcoming fall and the holidays? is it a preparedness issue? should i start planning the new school year in january so that i can plan halloween in june and christmas in september? is it a money issue? would i be happier if i could buy all the placemats and mantle decorations i wanted? i'm just not sure. i don't want to dread it every year. i hate all the cutesy decorations and that i'm not creative enough to come up with ones that fit my style. i hate that no adult likes wearing a costume, and therefore i can't have a HUGE halloween bash like i've always wanted. i hate that christmas has to be about gifts and toys instead of spending time together. i hate that it seems holidays can't be enjoyed unless everyone is constantly eating candy.

besides. i live in SD where summer hasn't ended yet. or has it? the weather is still the same, so i can't really tell. and i'm glad. i'm crossing my fingers it never changes so i can pretend that it's summer always.

a voice echoed

" All you need to know
is here within your reach.
With all your heart, trust in Him
and ask Him reverently. "

i have been listening to music from an old friend that i received several months ago. over the past week or so, her voice singing these words has been echoing in my head. 3 days ago i got to see her for the first time in 17 years. it was a wonderful reunion. thank you dawn, for reminding me of what i had forgotten.

and the winner is...

click here for more details

skin, bones, and much more

about a month ago we found out that BODYWORLDS was in town. (not to be confused with 'bodies: the exhibition' which is the knock-off and not the original). i was excited to find some discount coupons and had planned to go towards the end of september. it would be leaving SD in october. then, to our surprise, we got an invitation from scripps to attend an annual dinner at the museum of natural history and the exhibit was included!! i was so excited! the dinner was pretty lame, and we knew no one there. but a photography exhibit was going on at the museum that weekend. bonus! and the bodies were amazing! it's been years since i took anatomy in college, but i have always been fascinated by it. so much work went into preserving the bodies and prepping them for display. if the exhibit ever comes to your town, i highly recommend you go see it! (don't take kids - it's a little graphic). you can read all about the process and the history of it on the website. sorry there are no photos. photography wasn't allowed inside the exhibit, but i'm sure you can find muchas pics on the website.

matter of perspective

i'm sure you've all seen the link to stephanie nielson's blog in my sidebar. and anyone who knows me even a little bit knows i'm a 'half-empty' kind of girl. i'm not quite sure what it is about reading the story of someone else's tragedy that is satisfying. why are we interested in someone else's pain? i guess in this particular instance, curiosity gets the best of me and i'm always wanting to know how she's dealing with it. mainly because i know for sure it will be opposite of what i would do. and she's so willing to share.

we can always find someone who has it worse than us, can't we? sure it's easy to say the words. but it's tougher to actually admit it, get over ourselves, and quit whining about our own lives. but leave it to me to take someone else's positive and turn it to negativity within. when i look at her i just wonder why on earth she fought all those months. i would never be grateful for life. i would constantly wish i would've died in the crash. i can't even imagine the pain of looking in the mirror every day. and i wonder if her pain is any less because of her positive attitude. is she blessed with a better perspective because she fights to keep her chin up? it reminds me of my crazy sister who seems so different from me that i often wonder how we're even related. suicide would've been my first thought if i lost my husband. never mind thoughts of taking care of 2 small boys or going back to school in hopes of finding a job. i would find a small shack in a tropical place where no one knew me and who knows if i'd be even capable of looking at my kids every day. sleeping and eating would also be questionable.

do i read in hopes of gaining some inspiration that will change my perspective? sometimes that is hard to change unless a life experience provides true insight. i say i'm glad that i'm not her and don't have to feel her pain. but am i truly grateful for what i've been given? i'm thinking not, otherwise i wouldn't be complaining so often. obviously my perspective still needs some work.

a much needed deadline

where would we be without deadlines? so glad we have one at the end of the month. i'm definitely looking forward to putting an end to this job search. phone calls, voicemail, email...from too many recruiters to count. our temporary stay in SD doesn't really sadden us anymore. we knew we would fall in love with it and we have. but we know that it just wouldn't suit us from a long-term career perspective.

we received an almost unbeatable offer at the beginning of august. we had taken a trip and spent great time with all the docs in the practice and were treated like royalty for 2 days. but it has just been bad timing with the fellowship beginning. they asked for a decision by sept 1 and we just couldn't do it. we were still hesitant about the location. and even though the offer itself was fabulous, we had nothing to compare it to. we hadn't had time to see anything else and really had a fear of signing with that lack of experience. we asked for a 1-month extension and it was given. now we've frantically tried to set other visits up this month to make some basis of comparison. in the meantime they are interviewing other candidates. will the offer even be available if we go back to them and want to accept? who knows. it was a risk we felt we had to take.

well, when it rains, it pours. seemed like the recruiters weren't bringing me anything to speak of for the past 6 weeks. now all of the sudden we have 3 opportunities that sound good. we now have 2 other trips scheduled and my head is spinning. thank goodness for a life-saving friend that will keep my kids for almost 2 weeks while we travel around and figure things out.

in addition to booking a million flights and other travel arrangements, we are hurriedly trying to throw info together for our lenders so the house in jersey can finally be closed on!!! of all the months for an offer to finally come through, this would not have been the one i would've picked. but i guess we'll roll with it. and on top of that, the kids started their charter school classes this month and toby is having his dental work done. it's been a challenge to try and get back into a schedule with all this new stuff happening. but we seem much happier when we're running around like maniacs.

definitely ready to finalize contracts and start planning ahead. no i'm not ready to go public with the locations we're investigating. sorry. don't worry though. it will all be revealed soon enough.

HS: the charter school version

well we have discovered that the homeschooling realm is a bit different here in california. in jersey you're left completely alone to make your own decisions about what your kids need and how they will get it. the law requires the state to stay out of your way and they would have to provide proof if they were going to claim you were being negligent. california provides options. one option is going it alone. another is working with the public school and all their curriculum, but just not on their campus. the third is a mix. it goes by the name of charter school. not all charter schools are created equal. they all have their own rules and regulations and they all have different curriculum. most require attendance to classes a couple days a week, and then you fill in the rest at home. some provide enrichment, some only core subjects. but they all have something in common, and that is the cost. FREE. yes FREE! i was shocked when i called and asked what the fees were to enroll, and she said there were none! i couldn't believe it. really?? they're going to teach my children and not charge me anything? i didn't want to enroll them in core subjects. i want to keep consistency and continue with the books i've chosen and the system they're used to. but i wanted to find a place they could get some extracurricular things that i just don't take the time to provide. and wait! it gets better! (how could it get any better than free?) they pay up to $400 per school year PER CHILD for curriculum of my choosing!! WOW! not only are they going to educate my child for free, but now they're going to pay for my books on top of it?!? the shock is growing!

here's the catch. of course you already knew there was a catch, right? well, we all had to sign a paper (contract) saying that we understand what homeschooling is and that we commit to doing our work. every 5 weeks we have to meet with an 'educational specialist' and show the work we've done and give some of it to her so she can keep it on file if the state ever asks for it. technically they are considered a public school, therefore we don't have to pay any sort of tuition. which is also the reason we get credit towards curriculum. sure they keep it at the end of the year, but who cares at this point.

so the kids are thus far enrolled in PE, computers, geography, and art. next month is when all the fun stuff begins. luigi will be taking fencing and a couple other things. there are choices from gardening to interior decorating, karate to videography, leadership to chess club. the kids are so excited they can hardly contain themselves. in jersey there wasn't even such a thing as a rec center. but even through a rec center here, the classes would cost at least $50 a kid. i would never be able to expose them to these kinds of subjects on my own.

when i left jersey i was so very sad to be leaving behind the homeschool co-op that we had fallen in love with. it was a place where religion was NOT a taboo subject and where kids of all ages befriended each other. it was run very efficiently by all of the moms involved and we always felt so welcome. we were so disappointed to not be able to find anything similar when we researched resources in california. but now that we have discovered the charter school, we are so very excited to utilize all the new types of resources in store for us!

one step up, two steps back

wow, no posts since aug 16? what's wrong with me? if i ever hope to have a full website that people actually visit and want to read, i had better be more consistent. sometimes i wonder if i will ever catch up. and what does being 'caught up' consist of anyway? housework is ongoing, as is school and MANY other things that i am technically responsible for. is being 'caught up' even attainable? perhaps i should set another goal.

at any rate, after setting up a computer completely from scratch 3 times in the last month, i sure hope that progress is being made. still using a cheesy pre-designed blog template instead of my own. still trying to get school fully running again. still trying to make headway with this job decision for next year. hmmmm...all this sounds vaguely familiar. have i not made any progress at all since last month?

priceline scores again

i've heard rumors of people out there who dislike priceline. i'm not sure if they're true or not. but as many times as i've used their website for bidding on travel, i've NEVER been disappointed. my mom is coming to visit at the end of the month. there are 2 hotels within a mile of our place. the doubletree has online rates starting at $150/night. the marriott has online rates starting at $179/night. i went through my research process like always. i had 4 free rebid zones and plenty of time since it's only the 16th. i started low. the last winning bid was $67 for dates very close to mine and i fully expected to pay at least that. but you just never can tell what will happen, so i started at $53 and planned on working my way up. i just laughed out loud when my first bid was accepted for the doubletree!! gotta LOVE priceline! with flights for under $200 into SD airport and hotel for $53, i don't want to hear anyone say they can't afford to come visit! of course you could stay at our place on an air mattress for free.

just how the cards fell

i've always sort of been a loner. i'm the type who will have a lot of acquaintances and know things about a lot of people. i seem to remember small details and keep track of who's doing what. but i've never been the kind to have the same group of friends since the age of 5 'til death do us part, while traveling the world together. it always seemed like a great idea, but it just wasn't meant to be i guess. i don't really fit with most people. i never figured i would like being married either. i just figured it was the thing to do. plus, i think people mislead themselves into believing that what someone else has is what will make them happy, even if they don't truly want it. and i was no different. then after i started dating, i figured i would never find someone i could stand to be around for any length of time, let alone live with. well, by some odd shift of the cosmos, i met the love of my life before i was even 21. i was definitely disappointed he crossed my path so soon, but what could i do? we like the same foods, we agree on how to spend money, we love the same climate and similar adventures, and best of all we have the same life goals and philosophies. sure there are differences. our personalities are very different. but i knew how much of a miracle it was to be able to find someone that actually 'fit' with me. and i've been reminded of it countless times in the past 15 years. for me, to have someone actually 'get me' when i speak is a rarity to say the least.

i do get lonely when he's away and feel very alone when there's no time for us to talk. i don't get too involved in conversations on beach day or at playgroups. i sometimes wish i had pictures in my scrapbook of me and my 3 other life-long friends on our trip to italy or mexico. i wish sometimes i could say that the girls i grew up with were the same that flew in for my wedding and that also flew in for the birth of all 4 of my children. this goes back to the line of thinking that if someone else has something that makes them happy, then you are therefore missing out on something if you don't have the same. at any rate... even though i sometimes wish for what i think might be missing i am glad that i have someone that i 'fit' with. if i had to choose between life-long travel buddies or having a spouse that really understands me, i definitely go for the latter.

i don't do big posts for birthdays or holidays or whatever. not much into tradition. about a month ago we had our 14 year anniversary. it's been an adventurous 14 years. i'm glad the doc found me.

veg out

tuesday has arrived and it has made most things all better. thanks for suffering through monday with me. now on to more important topics...

i have, for the most part, given up meat. i should say that my body has given it up, i didn't really make a conscious effort to change. over the past several months it's just gotten worse and worse. i can tolerate less and less. i keep trying, as if giving it up would do some harm to my body, but my body just isn't having it. i can eat about as much as marz can and she's no big eater. i can't explain what happened. i have no idea where it's come from. but it just grosses me out to eat it. i can still tolerate and still love fish. if my body starts to reject fish i will be very sad. but it's definitely now a challenge to find things to cook where i can either leave the meat portions for everyone else, or not put meat in altogether. no i don't feel sorry for the animal really. yes i believe the majority of society eats way too much meat and it's unhealthy. so i don't have a problem at all with going vegetarian, as far as the food and philosophy are concerned. but it's just being able to feed the rest of my family and keep them happy that is now stumping me. stay tuned as i learn more about the word of wisdom, our bodies and how they process things, and about the giant raw food world that i have discovered.

zero visibility

there's a fog covering my brain and i can't seem to lift it. why is it that i have no job and no schedule and mondays still just shut me down? it's the concept of a monday that society has built up i guess. mondays are when you start fresh and get everything done. mondays are when you recover from the slack of the weekend. mondays are when you set goals and start the race. mondays are when you have all the energy because you rested all weekend. i don't think mondays have ever been any of those things for me. mondays are when all the things i've ignored for 2 days come crashing down on me. mondays are when i can't remember what's on my to-do list even though i wrote it down the night before. mondays are when i just can't seem to get dressed and out of the house (okay - i hear laughter from some of you. yes i realize that part isn't much different from the rest of the week).

i am bugged by all the recipes i have in my repertoire, and therefore have not been cooking much. i know that i'm being prompted to make a change in our eating habits once again and i've been dragging my feet. i need to get on the stick and dredge up some new recipes so we can push forward with this change. it's still hard to accommodate the last change when we leave the walls of our home. i know this next one will be even worse and i'm not looking forward to it. yet progress must be. we can't stay where we are.

i am overwhelmed with the thoughts of getting the kids 'back to school'. several subjects x 3 kids, and i've only planned the first 6 weeks of 1. most of luigi's year will be different from the last as he needs to separate from the group and start picking up harder work. i'm not ready for the fight. but am i ever? i know i feel better when i sit and plan everything out, but why does the sense of accomplishment have to come only after all the torture?

for some reason doctor and dentist appointments are abound. and all at the time that we can't prove we have insurance. numerous phone calls to different places and it's getting to be tiresome and monotonous. why do you have your employees start a job and not set them up with their benefits? and couldn't the bodies and teeth wait to get sick until after the insurance is all settled and processed? i mean really.

someone please tell me that the arrival of tuesday will provide a better view.

head over heels

i LOVE LOVE LOVE living in SD. i know it's only for a year and i'm going to bask in it as long as i can. we visited our local farmer's market today. now, understand that there are NUMEROUS farmer's markets all over SD and on any day of the week you choose to find one. but the one that is just a few minutes from us is on saturday afternoons. how perfect for us. it goes along with the perfect weather. there was perfect produce, perfect flowers, perfect empanadas, perfect hummus, perfect pitas, perfect jewelry, perfect hand-made african baskets, and some perfectly yummy strawberry raspberry lemonade. we picked up some perfect blueberry agave syrup, some perfect vegetarian tamales, perfect strawberries and dip. it was heavenly.

quick blitz

i haven't really wanted to take the time to write lately. seems i have fleeting thoughts that i can post to twitter quickly, but just can't seem to pull together anything that amounts to paragraphs. but i wanted to give some sort of quick update to what's going on around here. at the same time, i'll apologize for the boring background that wasn't even up when the month changed. my laptop is still complaining about being ill, and now has to be sent off to the gateway repair center where it will have in-patient care for almost 2 weeks. such a bummer. in the meantime, i'll succumb to using a background made by someone else.

at any rate, let's see if i can speedily sum up the last 6 weeks or so....

the drive out to SD was definitely long, but kids were better than expected and we survived. we went to vegas for the 4th, the doc left to work in indiana, i had friends visiting for a week, then sent the 11 yr old (whom i desperately need a nickname for - suggestions welcomed) to girl's camp. visited with a friend from college, took another trip back to vegas, then flew to alabama to take a look at a job for next year. among all this we had beach days, bad sunburns, a broken finger, pool time, dentist and dr appts, visits to the zoo, temple and wild animal park, celebrated 4 birthdays, discovered seals on the beach, set up utilities and made new friends. we've had unlovely dealings with HR personnel and a health insurance company. we've had long distance maintenance of a vacant house with water damage. we've had numerous visits to the SD airport and many trips to the store for fans since our place has no a/c.

we are enjoying our new ward and being a short few miles from the ocean. we are loving the weather that has zero rain and are excited to explore all that SD has to offer once everyone goes back to school and crowds die down. the doc is doing well with his 5.6 mile (one way) bike commute to and from work. he gets to ride along the beach. we are glad to have a great library system again, and our branch is less than 2 miles away. i love that i can send luigi walking or 'scooting' to the store when i need something quick for dinner.

up and coming on the horizon...dental surgery at the children's hospital for dash next week, continued weeding through of job opportunities from numerous recruiters in hopes to have a contract signed before the end of october, wrapping up repairs in jersey and praying that the house sells SOON, waving goodbye to my laptop hoping it will return safely from it's repair trip, gathering my thoughts to get school back up and running, reorganizing our meal plan and restructuring the family eating habits. i think i should stop there. the list could run on forever.

hope all is well with all of you. i'll try to suffer through editing some pics once i get my laptop back to healthy standing.

broken pinky - round 2

alas we now have our 2nd broken pinky finger in 2 months. of course you all remember how dash and luigi were fighting before the move and luigi's pinky was broken by dash. we laughed at how the 7 yr old broke the 12 yr old's finger. i suppose it's now no surprise that dash has managed to break his own pinky finger while riding his scooter. sadly, it's much tougher to keep the buddy tape on him than it was to keep it on the older kid. i'm just glad there is no surgery required, as sorting out our insurance has been a complete nightmare and won't be ending anytime soon.

H1N1

i'm unhappily reporting that THE flu graced us with its presence. poor luigi had to suffer through 10 days of being ill and is still experiencing muscle pains in the aftermath. i can't remember the last time he's been sick. i'm guessing it's at least 5 years. it's a miracle that none of us, nor our visiting friends, nor my in-laws caught it.

question overload

why is a trustworthy person SO hard to find these days? why bother medicating our children when they eventually get better on their own anyway? why are last minute flights SO expensive? how can you be SO close to the end of the tunnel and still claim NOT to see the light? why does the healthy food cost SO much more than the fake food? why do state employees seem to work 3x slower than everyone else? how are moms supposed to help little girls go potty if they're busy going to the bathroom themselves? if a person loses weight from stress, does it magically reappear when the stress is gone? why bother unpacking boxes that are just going to be repacked 12 months later? why are strangers SO much nicer in the western parts of the united states? why would SO much energy be given to small children that are asked to sit still constantly, and NOT given to adults that have SO much work to accomplish? how can 1 single person kill SO many hearty plants? why is it that children seem to be born with partially functioning hearing? why am i always shopping for something no one has manufactured yet? why do children ALWAYS find the worst matching outfit to wear in public?

my brain must have reverted back to a 3 year old level. or it could just be mush because i live with a 3 year old. haven't figured that out yet...

eeny meeny miney mo

i used to think choices were good things. i would long for the day when we could once again choose what turns our lives would take. i longed to be able to have some say in the matter, instead of just feeling like i was a programmable robot. but now i think i'm changing my mind. choices are overwhelming and stressful. choices make you crazy. choices are time-consuming and cause panic attacks. choices make me feel chaotic and unsettled and like i have no clue what is to come next. oh please remove these choices from my platter and just get on with telling me what to do already!!

leaving on a jet plane

well, i dropped doc macgyver curbside at the las vegas airport early this morning. i say early but for most folk it would've been sleeping in. after scraping by with 3-4 hours of sleep last night, i was hardly all the way awake as he drove. i don't think reality has set in yet. the reality that helps me remember he'll be gone for the next 19 days. 19 whole days. good thing there's txt msging and phones and FB and email and whatever else technology sees fit to help us stay in touch with. but i know it won't be the same. i know he was anxious over leaving and if there was any way he could've cancelled the contract and still supported us for this month, he would've done it. we are so proud of him for taking such good care of us. i wish i could make his job easier somehow.

alternate reality

blogging got put on the back burner for a bit while we lived in that other dimension. not sure where that is, but it didn't feel like real life. i don't think we've quite made it back to the plane we used to be on, but i suspect there is some sort of progress in that direction. i just haven't been able to experience it visually yet.

i haven't thought of school or grocery shopping or blogging or cleaning house or paying bills or talking to recruiters or buying kid clothes or meal plans or weekly schedules or paperwork or birthdays or the upcoming holiday or editing/uploading photos or a MILLION other things i would normally be thinking about. the only thing i have been processing in my pea-sized brain is directions and hotel reservations. we spent 5 days on interstate 40. it was a breath of fresh air compared to the real life we left behind and the real life we will soon have to face. windows were rolled down, feet were on the dash, music was turned up loud, and kids were bee-boppin'. we discovered that cracker barrel can feed a family of six cheaper than anything we've ever found. and now that we're 'cracker-barreled out' i'm definitely looking forward to rediscovering all my kitchen items and finally cooking something again. eating out for 3 weeks is a bit much for my stomach. poor doc M has no kitchen is his abode for the time he's in indiana. but that's a whole separate blog entry in and of itself.

we raced across the 2867 miles to beat our moving truck here. we were told it was landing on sunday, and it pleasantly showed up on saturday afternoon instead. we were glad it was early for sure, but not at all happy that we had to rent a last-minute uhaul because the driver refused to bring the large truck into our development! we had lots of help unloading and the colored dots on all our boxes proved very helpful. i'm not sure where all our belongings will go. there definitely isn't enough space and i can hardly find the carpet anywhere in here, but i suppose we'll find somewhere for it all.

we attended church in our new ward for the first time today. everyone was very friendly and it's a plus that we met some people that completely understand our journey, as they have travelled it also. the doc and luigi will be arising SUPER early to head to the church tomorrow morning. they have to be there no later than 4am to meet everyone and carpool to the area where all the boys will catch the ferry to catalina island for their week of scout camp. after almost 4 months of planning and arranging, the time has finally come!

now eligible

scores came in the mail yesterday from the first round of boards - the written part. it's been a long wait. how fitting that they arrived on the day of the graduation dinner. HIP HIP HOORAY! we read passing scores! of course i never had any doubts. but for some reason doc macgyver was worried. he studied so hard all year, in the midst of everything else that was going on. the kind of discipline i could only dream of attaining. i used to talk of being a brain surgeon when i was in college. always loved that squishy, windy, brain matter. but no way would i have ever made i through all of this. SO proud of my man! now we're excited that we can pay a $100 fee to be eligible to pay another $1250 for the next part of the exam that takes place in boston in october. woohoo! we're so privileged!

"i'm doing my baby steps Dr. M"

i sure miss my movies. they've been packed for almost 3 months now. but i can finally visualize taking them out of their box and putting them on a shelf in our new home! we have an address in SD. hip hip hooray! o me of little faith. long story, but the place we wanted that we were told we didn't qualify for because of income... they changed their minds as a result of someone else's influence. in the same day we listed the house with a realtor and got a showing and found contract work for doc M for july. the following day we sold the accord (verbally - still need to get our money) and got a bunch of basement packing done with help from a friend. i've also done some initial research into the job options for 2010 and am now inundated with phone calls and emails from recruiters. i had no idea joint-trained surgeons were in such high demand. such a bummer i got so grumpy and forgot to have faith. small puzzle pieces are falling in front of us. we're finally being able to arrange them in their place.

chef E

our house has been overrun with homemade goodies the past few months. sweets are definitely NOT my fave. i much prefer a huge bowl of fresh popped popcorn over desserts. but the stuff that is made from scratch by my almost teenager is quite heavenly. we've had brownies, eclairs, pop tarts, raisin bread, cinnamon rolls, garlic bread sticks, pizza, and probably other things i'm forgetting. today he is making oreos from scratch. oreos? i had no idea you could make those naturally. we're hoping he's headed for culinary arts school in the future. i could definitely use an 'in' to the catering world once i start entertaining for doc macgyver!

down to the wire

so i'm curious... what's the minimum amount of time a person can pack up about 1900 sq ft plus garage and attic and basement and yard? and does blogging help the process? i'm just wondering. and what's the minimum amount of time someone can find a place to live for 6 people when they're about 3000 miles away? would 10 days cut it? i can picture myself faxing rental apps from hotels while we're on our drive to SD. who in the world has 3 times the rent in net income? we were told last night by one place that our current income wouldn't even be enough, let alone what we'll make when we get to SD. is this going to be the story from here on out? perhaps i can find a hotel room for us to live out of for 12 months.

HS: science curriculum faves

i thought perhaps i should post something semi-informative again, instead of continually reporting on our chaotics lives. so this is what we do for science around here...

when i first began, almost 3 years ago, (wow! has it been that long already?) i got a general science book that was arranged chronologically. the theory would be that it would follow the timeline of history studies and be more cohesive to the kids. well the general science book was teaching evolution and i just wasn't ready for that. it's not that i don't want them to know about evolution. i think it's good to know about all kinds of theories, even if i don't personally believe in them. but because i'm so limited in my actual scriptural knowledge, i knew i would not be able to explain away evolution with scripture references as support. so i quickly sold that book and found another.

i was VERY excited to find the APOLOGIA science books. they are creation-based and they have small activities and experiments already built in to each lesson! i was so glad i didn't have to go hunting for a science experiment book that matched each of our lesson topics! these books read right to the student, so the kids can even read them independently. each lesson is very thorough in what it covers, and this line of books can carry my kids all the way through high school. the kids love them. they have great colorful pictures and are easy to understand. i love that they talk about God and have scripture references occasionally. here are the ones we did this year:

there are just a few topics here and there that apologia doesn't cover. so i was on the hunt for something that would fill in the gaps. i wanted to at least brush on these other subjects before they hit high school science. i found another creation-based series called GOD'S DESIGN that i think will be just what we need. it's not as thorough as apologia, but the topics are good and the pictures are nice. each lesson can be as long or as short as you want, so i'm really excited about the flexibility. here's the one that we're starting next week:

check out the websites to see each line's full spectrum of books. hope you find something that will work for you!

more laughs

if i keep laughing, perhaps a new term could be created instead of the one called 'bad news'. i just awake each morning wondering what we'll hear of next. rentals are flying by quickly in san diego, now just as we're starting to look seriously. of course they've been sitting since march, but not now!! each time i call on a place, there are already applications in on it. and the CA licensing process is beginning ALL over again from scratch. more fingerprinting, more forms, more transcripts, more notaries. for some reason, neither the fellowship program nor the allopathic medical board in CA felt the need to explain to us that there are 2, YES TWO, medical boards in the state of CA. The wrong one had doc M's paperwork since february and didn't notify him until yesterday that they couldn't process it!!! and we have also been informed by the lender that holds our equiline, that they will NOT release the lien on our property and allow us to pay them the remaining balance later. they will force the short sale. since no one is interested in renting the place, i guess we'll be turning the house over to a realtor in less than 3 weeks. can everyone still hear me laughing?

minds made up?

decisions, decisions, decisions. do we sell? do we lower the price? do we use a realtor? do we short sell? do we stop making our payments? do we rent? how long of a lease should we require? do we offer a rent-to-own? do we split up until the house is sold or rented? do we fly luigi out to SD for camp?

it seems that we've been trying to answer all of these questions for weeks now. and not just once, but over and over again. we make one decision, and after that doesn't pan out, the questions have to be revisited and decisions have to be made once more. it's exhausting i tell you.

in re-evaluating yet again last week, we have decided that we should not separate. we have decided we will not fly luigi out for scout camp. we have decided that we will leave on june 20th regardless of the situation with the house. i haven't a clue how these decisions are going to work from a financial standpoint. well, the truth is, they won't. but we've finally made up our minds at least. or have we?

small hiatus

the doc has a short conference to attend in alexandria, va. thanks to some last minute planning and 1 of the few people on earth that can tolerate all 4 of my yahoos overnight, i get to tag along! a couple of days of:

• wandering around a new city alone
  
• spending some one-on-one time with my camera
• enjoying some peace and quiet
• eating when i want without cooking
• not having to nag children
• sleeping through the night

i will be so tempted to get june's lesson plans done without interruptions, but i will try hard to restrain myself.

twitter-pated

i still can't figure out this whole twitter business and the use of it. but i signed up because i don't have enough uselessness in my life, so get on over and FOLLOW me!

date with the 12 year old

i'm sure everyone knows well enough that mother's day is my LEAST favorite holiday of all. i try every year (without much success) to request no presents. but this year i got a pretty decent gift from luigi. he took me to longwood gardens in pennsylvania (about an hr from us) and treated me to lunch while we were there. no one knows me as well as doc M, but luigi gets it right sometimes. this was definitely my kind of place. i took close to 300 photos and it was definitely a challenge to narrow them down and decide what to share. here they are:

1 conference with a side of kidlessness please...

wow. i've been horrible at the blog this month! it's that photo editing that trips me up. it puts me to sleep. i will forever miss the darkroom! at any rate, here are some shots of what the rest of the fam was up to while i was frantically taking notes for 2 days:

renewed vision

sorry for slacking on the blog posts this past week or so. but i definitely enjoyed my time away from kids and computer while i attended a conference in celebration of the 10th anniversary of The Well-Trained Mind. the 2 days of lectures on homeschooling were heaven sent. i learned TONS of stuff and definitely gained a much-needed sense of reassurance for what i'm doing. i'll be reading and re-reading my notes for months to come. now if i just had an unlimited budget for all those books i want to buy!

TRAVEL: finding a hotel

just got another deal on a hotel, so i thought i'd describe my process for anyone not yet familiar with priceline. of course, priceline is well-known these days, but using it to its potential can sometimes be tricky. here are the steps i use:

1. look up the priceline zones for the city i need to stay in
2. find out which hotels are in each priceline zone
3. read reviews for hotels
4. research pricing on hotel websites
5. look up recent winning bids in my target zones
6. begin the bidding process on priceline

okay, okay. the steps might be a bit confusing. let's go over them one at a time.

STEP 1: to find out which zones are available for the city you're looking, you need to go to amazing-bargains (you'll want to bookmark this link). in the middle you'll see the blue section where you can enter your dates and city. after you do that, click the 'start saving' button. it will take you to a page that has a map and some zone choices and different star levels to choose from. you're NOT bidding yet! this is JUST research, so don't let it scare you. the map on the right has sections of the city marked. if you click on the 'detail' link for each of the zones, it will zoom the map in so you can see the boundaries for that zone. this is where you need to decide which zones you would be ok staying in. get a notepad and write their names down. put an X next to the zone that you want the most.

STEP 2: now you need to see what your potential hotels are. here's where you visit biddingfortravel and start doing some more research. you'll have to set up a login and a password, but no biggie. you can handle that, right? good. now, if you have never been to this site before, the first thing you'll need to do is click on 'hotels' under the FAQ section, and then read the 'HOTEL FAQ'. don't skip this! once you have all that info under your belt, then go back to the main page and scroll down until you see the state & city you're looking for. on the next page click on the link for the hotel list. depending on the size of the city, the list could be quite lengthy. but it's organized in sections based on the priceline zones, and since you already listed the zones you're interested in, you should be able to go straight to those sections and find the hotels in each of them. you now have an idea of what hotels you could be matched with if you win a bid.

STEP 3: next you need to read up on your potential hotels to see if you're willing to stay there. i use trip advisor 99% of the time. the reason for this is because a LOT of other people use it also, which means the reviews will be current. you really don't want to trust a review of a hotel much more than a year old. if all you have to go on is a 5 year old review, then that's all you have. but it's much better to find a current review. construction noise that someone complained about 5 years ago probably doesn't exist now. and hotel staff changes often, so a complaint about service 5 years ago might not be valid anymore. hotels also remodel, and 5 years ago what would be old bedding and dirty carpet could be brand new today. the list goes on and on. also, if someone has a bad experience on their trip they often try to blame it on their hotel. so make sure you read the review carefully and understand what the writer's true gripe is. there are some reviews on biddingfortravel, and i do make sure to read them. but they are often old, so i always back them up with trip advisor reviews. once you've read all the reviews you need to determine whether or not you feel comfortable staying at all these places. if there are a lot of hotels on the list, i sometimes print the list out, and then cross off the ones that i would absolutely NOT want to win. once you're done, you can see how many hotels are crossed off in each zone. if you have the majority of the hotels crossed off in one particular zone, i recommend you DO NOT bid in the zone. if there's only 1 of maybe 5 or more hotels crossed off, i would say you could take your chances bidding there.

STEP 4: do some visiting of the hotel websites directly. enter your dates and price out what the retail cost of the room is. this gives you an idea of what you would pay without priceline. i always, always, always like to know how much i'm saving.

STEP 5: here's where you go back to the main page for your city & state on biddingfortravel. underneath the hotel list link are all the winning bids that people have posted. you now need to scroll through these and look for any that match the zones you've chosen. watch the dates that the winning bid is for because holidays will always be higher than others. depending on how popular your city and zones are, you might have to go back a year or so to see winning bids. this now gives you an idea of what you will be paying when you're bid is accepted. this could also be an indication of what zones you want to bid in. if you see that the most recent several bids in your target zone are all the same price and all the same hotel, chances are that's the price and hotel that will be accepted. make sure it's one you can be happy with. go back and read the reviews and look at the hotel amenities again if you need to.

STEP 6: once you've done all the research, it's now time to start the bidding process. even if i see 5 recent winning bids all the same price for the zone i'm looking at, i ALWAYS start the bidding lower if i have the time. if you have several zones that you would be happy staying in, these are call free rebidding zones. now would be the time to go to biddingfortravel and click on the 'hotels' link under the FAQ section again. this time you want to click on the link entitled 'advanced free re-bidding for experienced users'. this will walk you through how to get the most bids without waiting the standard 24-hr time period on priceline. it will also explain why i had you mark your priority zone with an X.

WHEN I DO NOT USE PRICELINE: i would choose NOT to use priceline if there were not enough hotels in my zones that had acceptable reviews and standards. i also have NOT used priceline when i've traveled out of the country. all of my international travels have been to latin america and we don't like big touristy resorts. we usually like small, out of the way places, and those aren't an option through priceline. i use a different process for my international travel.

*my last winning bid was for williamsburg, va at $44/night plus taxes. the hotel website wanted $91. i prefer to get the cost down to less than half retail, but depending on the city, it's not always that cheap. also, the reason i do all my priceline research and bidding through amazing-bargains is so that it gives credit back to the moderator of biddingfortravel, since i use her site a TON! you have to make sure you don't ever go directly to priceline, or your browser will remember. and then even if you go to amazing-bargains after, it still won't give her the credit. if you go directly through priceline at all, you have to restart your browser.

my favorite remake

one, two, sree, like a bird i seen
cuz you given me most bootiful set of wings
i'm so glad you're here wis me
cuz tomawow i might have to go and fy away
fy away, fy awaaaaaay, fy away, fy awaaaaaaay

original sung by tim mcgraw
remake sung by marz

heaven sent

it's been almost 3 years since i pulled the kids out of public school. (yes they spent 3 months in public school between then and now. i'm not quite ready to discuss that publicly yet.) when i first brought them home, i thought i'd done my research. i thought i had found a great method that fit my philosophies; one that would provide them some freedoms they hadn't known in public school. little did i know that it wouldn't suit them and that this homeschooling journey would be one of constant change. there were so many things i was unprepared for. it's like having your first child. you get a gazillion pieces of advice while you're pregnant but until you go through the experience yourself, there's just no way you can comprehend what anyone is telling you or imagine what it will truly be like. well after that first year of floundering and not really liking the program i had chosen, i discovered this:

this is a nice clean picture of the exciting 3rd edition that is to be released any day now. my version is without jacket and all beat up and full of bookmarks. i've often heard converts to our church say that as they heard the missionaries teach them, it was like they knew those things all along. this is how i feel about the philosophies in this book. when i first read this book, it was as if i already knew the concepts. i just never knew how to verbally communicate them or put them together in that way. everything i read just made perfect sense to me. i understood the why. i could picture the how. i now use this as the baseline for all that i do in our homeschooling world. the book is insanely comprehensive and there's no way i could do it all. and of course, a book is not a be-all/end-all. minor adjustments always need to be made along the way. the book even suggests it. and no one knows better than God what each child needs anyway.

i have a love/hate relationship with homeschooling. who knows if it will always be that way. but i am hugely grateful for this book, and the friends (you know who you are) who introduced me to it. for those of you who would like to know more about it, and the mother/daughter team that wrote it, visit THE WELL-TRAINED MIND. it's definitely a cyberspace pitstop worth perusing.

evolution, or illusion of

several years ago when i started putting family info up online, things were very different. i had a website before general population even knew of the word 'blog'. it began with laziness. we have always moved around. this june we will be making our 14th move in the almost 14 years we've been married. and the fact that we've been in this current residence for 5 years (WOW!) tells you a bit about those other 13 moves. as kids and our life events were changing constantly, i just became lazy about calling someone every time something was new. i had daily contact with email even before i was married (15 years ago). but it just wasn't the norm back then. most of my parents' generation still didn't even have a computer in the home, and if they did, they sure didn't know how to use it very well. so they relied on the annual card/picture of the family to see what the kids looked like and hear a few short sentences about what we were up to. 5 or 6 years ago i decided i didn't even want to do that all the time. it was costly, and i wanted something that people could get info from more often instead of on a yearly basis. so i set up a website that would keep current info on what the kids were doing, a few pictures, and our contact info. i'm pretty sure not many really ever looked at it. there were still so many that didn't have online access, or if they did, it just wasn't a part of their routine. but i didn't care. at that point i was just too tired of contacting people separately to tell them what was going on. so i figured i would dump the responsibility on everyone else. if they cared to know about us, they would have to visit the web. it didn't work all that well. people still rebelled against the technology and still complained that they didn't hear about or know about some news.

now in the world of blog overload, i have succumbed to the masses and put our info all on blogger. i'm not sure any more people take the time to find out what we're up to than before, considering the lack of comments i get from my posts. or maybe my posts are just boring. but nowadays the online blog serves sort of a different purpose and i never really noticed it until recently. or perhaps it's just an illusion in my mind. back in the day the online space allowed me to keep in touch with many people all in one fell swoop, without the cost of postage. now when i post things, it seems that i have much more to blab about and i actually want to share a part of my brain with cyberspace. i am a research fanatic. can't ever seem to make a decision or tell anyone about anything unless i feel i've absorbed an insane amount of facts about the topic. and then i think to myself..."why should anyone spend all that time and go through that torturous process if they don't have to? if i could just pass on the information that i spent all those hours accumulating, wouldn't they be on their way quicker than i was?". but again, it could all just be an illusion that i have evolved. if no one reads the blog, then really no one is benefiting from my 'sharing', and i'm just amusing myself. so for the time being, i'll just amuse myself and share some things i've learned along the way about my favorite OR most researched (don't confuse the two) topics, such as travel, shopping, and homeschooling. i'll leave photography out for now, since my views don't seem to agree with the masses and there are a million photography websites out there. (come to think of it, most of my views on most topics differ from the masses. perhaps that's the explanation for the lack of post comments). i tried that separate blog on shopping, and i don't think anyone paid much attention. hence, i'm leaning more toward the illusion/amusement theory than the evolution one. oh well.

coming soon...my basis for all my homeschool curriculum choices and why. revisit to read or NOT. but i will spew for my own amusement regardless.

before and after

as i was searching for some old pictures of the house to possibly use for the craigslist ad, i stumbled upon this:



wow, i had completely forgotten what our dining room used to look like. this is a picture we took when we looked at it for the first time, before buying it. we redid the dining room last year. i can't believe we lived with it for that long! the wallpaper still makes me nauseous.

here's what it looks like now:



ah. i feel much better now.