5.14.2010

seasick

i don't have motion sickness, but after the roller coaster of the past week or so, i'm wondering if i'm getting close to the feeling.  it seems i'm in a ship trying to get my bearings and every time i think i've found a straight path, a big wave comes crashing to one side, rattling everything and i have to start all over.

i wonder if my expectations of balance are just too high.  of course this will be our 15th move in 15 years.  we should be experts by now, right?  i'm great at research and planning. but every time i think i have the plan nailed down, something unexpected gets thrown in the machine and i have to rethink everything and make new decisions.  i hate the decision-making part.  i think there were just too many variables to begin with and i tried to make decisions to early in the process.  i always feel much better when things are set and i know how to work around them.  not having a new address or knowing an actual move date is super frustrating to me.

flights have to be changed, but to what date and what cities?  contract work needs to be found, but where and for how long?  will i have to pack and move w/o the doc around to help AGAIN?  will we get to move together or separately?  will school plans work out?  will the doc get credentialed in time?   will we find enough living space in AL?  will we even find a rental?  will our cruise be postponed indefinitely?

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