a lesson in extinction

and the dialogue goes like this...

MARZ:  where do dinosaurs live?
ME:  dinosaurs don't live on the earth anymore.  they're extinct.  that means they all died.
MARZ:  how did they all die?
ME:  not sure.  maybe other animals killed them, or maybe they ran out of food.
MARZ:  you mean they forgot to eat their vitamins?

my slice of heaven

can i just say that i LOVE my 50mm f1.8??!?!?!  and i love it even more with my sb-400 flash!

indoors at night w/ direct flash

indoors at night w/ bounced flash

need i say more?  oh, maybe just that i LOVE my 50mm f1.8!!!

happy dance

it's either feast or famine around here.  when it's raining, it's pouring.  when it's not raining, it's super sunny and smooth.  it definitely makes for an adventurous roller coaster ride.

we just found out what our address will be when we get to AL!!  the date is yet to be determined, but a miracle was sent our way and the house i fell in love with is the one we get to live in!  of course, we can't own it, but that's ok.  the owners moved out to CA a few months ago and were willing to drive to us to negotiate terms.  they'll hold it for us til we get there!  hooray!!!

here are some pics:

seasick

i don't have motion sickness, but after the roller coaster of the past week or so, i'm wondering if i'm getting close to the feeling.  it seems i'm in a ship trying to get my bearings and every time i think i've found a straight path, a big wave comes crashing to one side, rattling everything and i have to start all over.

i wonder if my expectations of balance are just too high.  of course this will be our 15th move in 15 years.  we should be experts by now, right?  i'm great at research and planning. but every time i think i have the plan nailed down, something unexpected gets thrown in the machine and i have to rethink everything and make new decisions.  i hate the decision-making part.  i think there were just too many variables to begin with and i tried to make decisions to early in the process.  i always feel much better when things are set and i know how to work around them.  not having a new address or knowing an actual move date is super frustrating to me.

flights have to be changed, but to what date and what cities?  contract work needs to be found, but where and for how long?  will i have to pack and move w/o the doc around to help AGAIN?  will we get to move together or separately?  will school plans work out?  will the doc get credentialed in time?   will we find enough living space in AL?  will we even find a rental?  will our cruise be postponed indefinitely?

zoom in

this whole legal battle that our friends are going through really has me distracted often.  i think about how judgmental i was of the parents of the children we fostered while we were in jersey.  i think about how judgmental i am about parents who haven't even had their children taken from them.  of course we know that God will judge in the end, but who has the right to judge while we are on this earth?  and to what standards should everyone be held to?  and should everyone be held to the same standard?  some were taught better than others, and therefore have a greater advantage when they have children.  they have all the great techniques, resources, and skills at their fingertips.  others had no parental model to speak of, yet still yearn to be parents themselves.  should they be expected to perform at the level of the others?  i understand now why justice and mercy must work hand in hand to establish consequence and judgment.  but does our mortal law leave room for mercy?  and how difficult it must be for someone to bear the burden of judging without possessing the omnipotence that God has.  i can pass judgment and call it opinion, but i will never have all the facts.

if someone possesses lesser parenting skills and common sense than the next person, does that mean they should be denied the right to care for a child?  there are homes that are immaculately kept, yet not much love exists and no one is ever home to enjoy the cleanliness.  there are homes where you are constantly walking on clothing and crumbs, but the children always prefer to be home.  of course, balance is ideal.  but where should the state draw the line?  and everyone seems to be measured against the same line, no matter what.  where's the mercy in that? 

sure our friends made mistakes; sure they are not perfect.  but how would our family fare under the microscope?  would we pass a courtroom test?

finally

ok. that feels better.  no more pink.  hooray!

the shivers

ok, i just looked at my blog for the 2nd time today.  the background is giving me the heebie jeebies.  i promise i'm working on something unique and not so...well...not so un-me.  just pretend you didn't see these flowers or the pink while you read the posts.

theme-less

not sure how i got obsessed with themed birthday parties.  and i should have long ago followed in the footsteps of other mothers who only do birthday parties every other year.  i think somewhere along the way doc macgyver insisted that wasn't enough.  at any rate, as may 9th got closer and closer, i was completely stumped as to finding a theme for dash's party.  finally we decided last week that if we don't round all these kids up soon, it just won't happen before everyone gets too busy with summer and we have to move.  so, to get as far from themed as possible (and much closer to boring) we just invited everyone to the pool on saturday for swimming and pizza.  how uncreative and unoriginal and uninnovative.  i'm pretty sure that last one isn't even a word.  i think we're even going to buy a cake pre-made from a store.  i know.  how awful, right?  i did manage to get up to the dollar store and pick up some beach pails and other beach-like or swimming related gear.  so instead of goodie-bags to send the kids home with, we now have goodie-buckets.  ah well.  we'll have to save the creativity for next year.

where did it go?

april, i mean.  what happened to the entire month of april?  it's officially may, almost 2 hrs already in pacific time.  i don't think i'm ready.  haven't even started planning a party for dash.  dreading my most hated holiday of the entire year.  doc macgyver is on-call 2 weeks out of the month.  no travel in the next 31 days to be seen anywhere.

on the bright side...perhaps it means the showers will finally be gone for good and we can enjoy the flowers!  or maybe it just means we're that much closer to the move date.  when exactly should i start packing again?